Is Sex Therapy Right for You? A Guide to Getting Started
- Isabelle Kirsch
- May 2
- 3 min read
Updated: May 13
Sex is deeply personal, and yet it can be one of the most misunderstood and avoided topics—especially when something doesn’t feel quite right. Whether you're facing a dry spell, feeling disconnected from your partner, or struggling with performance anxiety, know this: it happens to most people at one point in their lives and relationships, and help is available.
As a sex therapist, I work with individuals and couples every day who want to improve their connection, rediscover desire, or heal from sexual blocks. This guide will help you understand what sex therapy is, who it’s for, and how to know if it’s the right step for you.
What Is Sex Therapy?
Sex therapy is a specialized form of talk therapy that focuses on the emotional, psychological, and relational aspects of sex and intimacy. It provides a safe, shame-free space to explore what’s going on beneath the surface and find personalized strategies to overcome blocks—whether they’re rooted in beliefs, trauma, relationship dynamics, or medical issues.
Unlike traditional therapy, sex therapy dives directly into topics such as:
Low or mismatched libido
Difficulty with arousal or orgasm
Pain during sex (like vaginismus or dyspareunia)
Erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation
Shame, guilt, or anxiety related to sexuality
Communication issues around intimacy
Sessions are always verbal— there’s no physical contact — and you set the pace. The goal isn’t just to “fix a problem” but to create more ease, connection, and pleasure in your sexual life, which will help you to let go, be more present and feel connected to your body.
Signs That Sex Therapy May Be Right for You
You don’t need to be in crisis to seek sex therapy. Here are some signs it might be a good fit:
You feel disconnected from your desire or avoid intimacy altogether
You and your partner rarely have sex, and it’s becoming a source of tension
You experience pain or discomfort during sex
You’re anxious about your sexual performance or ability to please your partner
You’ve experienced sexual trauma and want to heal in a supportive environment
You’re curious about your sexual identity or want to explore new aspects of your sexuality
You simply want to improve your relationship with pleasure
If any of these resonate, even a little, sex therapy could offer support, clarity, and a path forward.
What Happens in a Sex Therapy Session?
The first session usually focuses on understanding your history, goals, and current challenges. You’ll likely be asked about your upbringing, relationships, body image, past experiences, and how you currently feel about sex.
Future sessions may involve:
Psychoeducation (learning about desire, arousal, or anatomy)
Communication tools to talk about sex with more confidence
Exercises to reconnect with your body or partner
Reframing beliefs or anxieties using cognitive and somatic tools
Support in navigating shame, fear, or relational patterns
Sessions are collaborative—you’re in charge, and we go at your pace.
Do You Have to Be in a Relationship?
Not at all. Many clients I work with are single or exploring their identity. In fact, sex therapy can be a powerful way to work on personal growth, reconnect with your body, and feel more sexually empowered—even before entering a relationship.
If you are in a relationship, sessions can be individual or as a couple, depending on your goals. Often, a mix of both works best.
How to Get Started with Sex Therapy
If you’re curious, trust that. You don’t need to wait until things feel unbearable. Here’s how to take the first step:
Look for a sex therapist — Ideally someone with experience in the issues you’re facing.
Schedule a consultation — Most therapists offer an intro call to see if it’s a good fit.
Prepare to be honest — Therapy works best when you can be real about your fears and hopes.
Go at your own pace — There’s no “normal” timeline. You get to define success.
Consider taking the first step.
If you've been wondering, "Is sex therapy right for me?" — chances are, it could be. Whether you're hoping to reconnect with desire, improve communication with a partner, or feel more confident in your sexuality, sex therapy can guide you toward lasting, meaningful change.
Pleasure isn’t a luxury. It’s a part of your wellbeing. And you don’t have to figure it out alone. Start by booking your consultation call - There is never any pressure to go ahead with sessions. We just want to figure out what is the best approach for you.
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